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TWEET: Dib-heads! INVADER ZIM #15 “Tales of Ms. Bitters”…

Dib-heads! INVADER ZIM #15 “Tales of Ms. Bitters” on sale tomorrow! Dib heads are the biggest heads of all!… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

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TWEET: Signing today! Singing tomorrow? https://t.co/cKG…

Signing today! Singing tomorrow? twitter.com/OniPress/statu…

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TWEET: We’re signing the lost issue of TRUTHSHRIEKER for…

We’re signing the lost issue of TRUTHSHRIEKER for ZIM fans on the 19th. Come down before the void eats you! twitter.com/OniPress/statu…

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TWEET: Looks like this is the year millennials learned a…

Looks like this is the year millennials learned a new way to spell “NADER.”

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TWEET: A reminder to Invader ZIM fans to vote for salted…

A reminder to Invader ZIM fans to vote for salted nuts and legs of pure gold. ebaumsworld.com/videos/invader… itunes.apple.com/us/tv-season/v…

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TWEET: Sometimes I question the wisdom of pitting one hal…

Sometimes I question the wisdom of pitting one half of the country in a bar brawl against the other for 16 months before we vote.

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TWEET: I suppose tomorrow we see if America fails its sav…

I suppose tomorrow we see if America fails its saving-throw.

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TWEET: Drunk people walk you through the California State…

Drunk people walk you through the California State Ballot Measures! armyofdrunks.net/?p=357 https://t.co/wBHLs1puZK

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TWEET: Army of Drunks Halloween show up, featuring “Ask a…

Army of Drunks Halloween show up, featuring “Ask a Drunk Mortician” w/ @AmberCarvaly, & @oreoexperience SUBSCRIBE!… twitter.com/i/web/status/7…

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TWEET: Zombie Girl in Halloween Maze: “You’re going to di…

Zombie Girl in Halloween Maze: “You’re going to die!” Me: “Aren’t we all?”

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TWEET: Hey! Francisco gave ZIM #14 @MeltdownComics pick o…

Hey! Francisco gave ZIM #14 @MeltdownComics pick of the week! Thanks @MrFJDominguez! And @JhonenV @OniPress… twitter.com/i/web/status/7…

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TWEET: Exciting preview of #invaderzim comic 14!! TOTALLY…

Exciting preview of #invaderzim comic 14!! TOTALLY OUT TODAY! @JhonenV @warrenwucinich @FredCStresing @OniPress… twitter.com/i/web/status/7…

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TWEET: Thanks to Bob at Comicsverse for the #InvaderZIM i…

Thanks to Bob at Comicsverse for the #InvaderZIM interview. Fool! INVADER ZIM: Creative Team Interview comicsverse.com/invader-zim-cr…

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TWEET: “My mic is defective” is the new “I’m a raging ser…

“My mic is defective” is the new “I’m a raging serial liar with no self control who just humiliated himself in front of a millions.”

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TWEET: And tonight the part of Donald Trump was played by…

And tonight the part of Donald Trump was played by an orangutan on crystal meth, as tradition demands.

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TWEET: And tonight the part of Donald Trump was played by…

And tonight the part of Donald Trump was played by an orangutan on crystal meth, as traditions demands.

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TWEET: I keep getting Hannity’s voice mail! WTF, Sean?!

I keep getting Hannity’s voice mail! WTF, Sean?!

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TWEET: I have now been stuffed with Trump’s Famous Word S…

I have now been stuffed with Trump’s Famous Word Slaw, and man I feel sick.

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TWEET: Another #InvaderZIM interview! This time from the…

Another #InvaderZIM interview! This time from the folks at Geeks World Wide. @JhonenV @warrenwucinich @FredCStresing bit.ly/1UeHK1r

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TWEET: ZIM & Dib are NOT FRIENDS in ZIM #13 on sale t…

ZIM & Dib are NOT FRIENDS in ZIM #13 on sale today! w/ @JhonenV @warrenwucinich @FredCStresing @OniPress https://t.co/Eqmb3OANSO

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TWEET: MY SKITTLES ARE SHOOTING AT ME!!!

MY SKITTLES ARE SHOOTING AT ME!!!

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TWEET: Adventures in Poor Taste grills @warrenwucinich, F…

Adventures in Poor Taste grills @warrenwucinich, Fred Stressing ‘n me about the ZIM comic! adventuresinpoortaste.com/2016/09/19/inv…

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TWEET: I think the mere existence of Jimmy Buffet’s recor…

I think the mere existence of Jimmy Buffet’s recording career may be another — if lesser — symptom of white privilege.

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TWEET: Army of Drunks Summer Tiki Special is up, with @ka…

Army of Drunks Summer Tiki Special is up, with @katiemassa. Subscribe, you good-for-nothing drunkard! armyofdrunks.net/?p=344

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TWEET: Hey! @comicsbeat interviews us about the ZIM comic…

Hey! @comicsbeat interviews us about the ZIM comic thing! @OniPress @JhonenV @erictrueheart @essrose @DaveCrosland bit.ly/2aYhc8Q

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TWEET: Facebook: The medium is the message, and the messa…

Facebook: The medium is the message, and the message is two million howler monkeys screaming into the void.

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TWEET: #InvaderZIM no. 12 rated 5-out-of-5 Bastards by Co…

#InvaderZIM no. 12 rated 5-out-of-5 Bastards by ComicBastards! @JhonenV @warrenwucinich @essrose comicbastards.com/comics/review-… via @ComicBastards

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TWEET: Invader ZIM issue 12 on sale tomorrow. It’s ZIM vs…

Invader ZIM issue 12 on sale tomorrow. It’s ZIM vs ZIM. If you don’t buy it, ZIM will win!!! @OniPress, @JhonenV https://t.co/HKqEdIadSU

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TWEET: Idea: Half-hour sit-com about bored amphetamine ad…

Idea: Half-hour sit-com about bored amphetamine addicts called “Me(t)h.”

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TWEET: Somewhere there’s a surgeon who starts every opera…

Somewhere there’s a surgeon who starts every operation saying, “Time for Operation: Operation!” Then the nurses silently wish he was dead.

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TWEET: Every article you share on Facebook adds six hours…

Every article you share on Facebook adds six hours to your life!

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TWEET: I don’t think you can believe in both conspiracy t…

I don’t think you can believe in both conspiracy theories AND chaos theory.

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TWEET: Nobody here is a firework. Move along.

Nobody here is a firework. Move along.

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TWEET: Can we add “vaguebrag” as a sub-species of “humble…

Can we add “vaguebrag” as a sub-species of “humblebrag?” It would be really awesome for me, but I can’t tell you why.

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TWEET: Second time today I’ve heard The Promise by 80s on…

Second time today I’ve heard The Promise by 80s one hit wonder When in Rome in a public place. What’s the significance?? I DON’T KNOW!!

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TWEET: Invader ZIM collection #2 on sale now! Take it hom…

Invader ZIM collection #2 on sale now! Take it home, love it. @OniPress.@JhonenV @DaveCrosland @essrose @Dinolich https://t.co/H8vytW1SNO

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TWEET: Final SDCC tally. 14 Suicide Squad Harleys. #sdc…

Final SDCC tally. 14 Suicide Squad Harleys. #sdcctally #nofatbatmans https://t.co/VQaDoYhDQI

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TWEET: #sdcctally #fathatmans #hairydudeslaveleia https:/…

#sdcctally #fathatmans #hairydudeslaveleia https://t.co/fqG9lbtN07

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TWEET: #sdcctally #fatbatmans https://t.co/0kzAmONAQW

#sdcctally #fatbatmans https://t.co/0kzAmONAQW

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TWEET: I’ll be at the #InvaderZIM comic panel tomorrow at…

I’ll be at the #InvaderZIM comic panel tomorrow at #SDCC! 2:00-3:00 room 29AB. Signing at Oni Booth #1833 at 3:30! instagram.com/p/BILO_3uD_8j/

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TWEET: Ordering coffee using only words and phrases borro…

Ordering coffee using only words and phrases borrowed from Michelle Obama.

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TWEET: WARNING: If you catch ’em all, you will then have…

WARNING: If you catch ’em all, you will then have to face the fundamental emptiness of your own existence.

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TWEET: Pro tip: You gotta catch ’em all, or they will ban…

Pro tip: You gotta catch ’em all, or they will band together and murder you in your sleep.

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TWEET: Never hire a clown who only works for drinks.

Never hire a clown who only works for drinks.

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TWEET: The only real question is how much Zardoz is enoug…

The only real question is how much Zardoz is enough Zardoz?

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TWEET: July 4th! Because what’s more American than over-…

July 4th! Because what’s more American than over-eating and explosions?

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TWEET: Thought: Throw “Baby You’re a Firework” in a pit w…

Thought: Throw “Baby You’re a Firework” in a pit with “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger” and let them murder each other.

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TWEET: Wait. It just struck me. Was The Benny Hill Show…

Wait. It just struck me. Was The Benny Hill Show the Hee-Haw of the U.K.?

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TWEET: The next door mariachi band is back. Nice of the n…

The next door mariachi band is back. Nice of the neighbors to provide enough mariachi for everyone.

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TWEET: The other day my Rick-Roll was blown by the obliga…

The other day my Rick-Roll was blown by the obligatory pre-video ad. Commerce has officially ruined the internet!

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TWEET: I’ve been told to tell you @OniPress’ 2nd #invader…

I’ve been told to tell you @OniPress‘ 2nd #invaderzim compendium is nigh, #comicsmarket code APR161827. Because. https://t.co/cbhzq7i7Kk

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TWEET: There’s Irish Spring soap but no Arab Spring soap?…

There’s Irish Spring soap but no Arab Spring soap? WTF?

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TWEET: Once again @AdobeFlash has asked me to update my F…

Once again @AdobeFlash has asked me to update my Flash player by consulting the original manuscripts and re-stacking the punch cards.

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TWEET: Going outside is like stepping into God’s hairdrye…

Going outside is like stepping into God’s hairdryer.

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TWEET: Still haven’t found myself living in a shotgun sha…

Still haven’t found myself living in a shotgun shack. I guess he did say “may.”

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TWEET: Times like this I ask, really, what if Todd was on…

Times like this I ask, really, what if Todd was one of us?

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TWEET: Read every internet meme with Morgan Freeman’s voi…

Read every internet meme with Morgan Freeman’s voice in your head. Now stop that and read with Pauley Shore’s, because that’s more accurate.

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TWEET: Today is 06-16-2016, a very significant date for p…

Today is 06-16-2016, a very significant date for people who missed 06-06-2016.

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TWEET: Why yes, I am the same Eric Trueheart who punched…

Why yes, I am the same Eric Trueheart who punched Hitler in the kneecaps in issue #6 of “Cap’N America’s Best Pal Bucky.”

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TWEET: OK, nobody freak out, but you can watch Bob Ross o…

OK, nobody freak out, but you can watch Bob Ross on Netflix. Now try to go about your business.

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TWEET: Last night Trump got an average of 75% running aga…

Last night Trump got an average of 75% running against candidates who dropped out weeks ago. Will this giant wave of charisma ever break?

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TWEET: I Voted! Also Vetted, Verted, Vintaged, Vetoed, In…

I Voted! Also Vetted, Verted, Vintaged, Vetoed, In Vitroed, Violaed and Vaunted. Then I farted. (Actually, I’m saving my fart for November.)

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TWEET: I wonder when we as a society will decide the numb…

I wonder when we as a society will decide the number of things Edie Brickell is aware of reaches “too many.” I want a hard number here.

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TWEET: If I practice really hard, maybe some day I too ca…

If I practice really hard, maybe some day I too can become an “experimental pop duo.”

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TWEET: Game of Thrones Spoiler: Peter Dinklage inserted r…

Game of Thrones Spoiler: Peter Dinklage inserted rectally into dragon, makes sarcastic comment.

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TWEET: Does Godzilla poop? If he does, is it radioactive?…

Does Godzilla poop? If he does, is it radioactive? If it is, could it be used to power a spaceship to the farthest star? No? Okay.

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TWEET: James Taylor’s seen fire and he’s see rain, but ap…

James Taylor’s seen fire and he’s see rain, but apparently not enough to burn him to death or drown him because HE KEEPS SINGING THIS SONG!

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TWEET: This bagel ain’t gonna eat itself. Is it? IT IS!…

This bagel ain’t gonna eat itself. Is it? IT IS!! Sweet God what is happening?!

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TWEET: New issue of Invader ZIM! Buy it with your buying-…

New issue of Invader ZIM! Buy it with your buying-stuff! Read it with your reading-parts! tinyurl.com/zuyttd5 https://t.co/7kPP6peTHZ

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TWEET: Every morning I look at my socks, and every mornin…

Every morning I look at my socks, and every morning I think, “These are my socks.”

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TWEET: I am celebrating my birthday by not dying!

I am celebrating my birthday by not dying!

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TWEET: I keep checking the internet to see if I’ve gotten…

I keep checking the internet to see if I’ve gotten more interested.

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TWEET: I really hope that secretary with the “Why Be Norm…

I really hope that secretary with the “Why Be Normal?” bumper sticker eats wolf spiders from a freshly-hollowed skull.

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TWEET: Dear Death, please take some shittier people now….

Dear Death, please take some shittier people now. I hear Trump bathes with a toaster on the edge of the tub.

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TWEET: One day you’ll be surrounded by young people who’v…

One day you’ll be surrounded by young people who’ve never even heard of the heroes you grew up with.

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TWEET: Jury duty schedule for my birthday! I get a big g…

Jury duty schedule for my birthday! I get a big gift-box full of civic responsibility

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TWEET: I think the people who say “Life is a gift” have n…

I think the people who say “Life is a gift” have never gotten an actual gift before.

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TWEET: Thinking about just commenting “DON’T CARE” on eve…

Thinking about just commenting “DON’T CARE” on everyone’s photos on Facebook. Every last one. Think that’ll go over?

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TWEET: “Facebook: Never Forget Your Friends Have Cooler L…

“Facebook: Never Forget Your Friends Have Cooler Lives Than You.”

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TWEET: Doomed Book Title: “Calling Asians the N-Word and…

Doomed Book Title: “Calling Asians the N-Word and Other Business Tips.”

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TWEET: Facebook: DUANE MARTIN AND TISHA CAMPBELL-MARTIN F…

Facebook: DUANE MARTIN AND TISHA CAMPBELL-MARTIN FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY!!!! Me: I DON’T KNOW WHO THAT IS!!! God: *PUNCHES ME OVER HORIZON!!!*

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TWEET: The words “Actual Live Backyard Amateur Mariachi B…

The words “Actual Live Backyard Amateur Mariachi Band” have come together to form something real, happening two doors down, right now.

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TWEET: Is Trader Joe’s really going to close all their st…

Is Trader Joe’s really going to close all their stores forever? Or once I’ve killed myself will Joe jump out and yell psyche?

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TWEET: The homeless man also shouted, “I’ll use a nuclear…

The homeless man also shouted, “I’ll use a nuclear bomb on your pelvis!”

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TWEET: I just saw a homeless man slam a payphone down and…

I just saw a homeless man slam a payphone down and shout, “Bodybuilders! I hope you all starve, you Bodybuilders!”

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TWEET: This is Southern California. There are no seasons….

This is Southern California. There are no seasons. Just one long stretch of uninterrupted sunshine until you suddenly realize you’re old.

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TWEET: I’m less unsettled by Ted Cruz’s adultery than by…

I’m less unsettled by Ted Cruz’s adultery than by the inescapable knowledge that Ted Cruz has a functioning penis.

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TWEET: Warren Wucinich rox the brush! https://t.co/Lus34k…

Warren Wucinich rox the brush! twitter.com/warrenwucinich…

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TWEET: INVADER ZIM #8 out today and it’s a genuine LOST E…

INVADER ZIM #8 out today and it’s a genuine LOST EPISODE! (Alt cover by @Dinolich!) @JhonenV @DaveCrosland @essrose https://t.co/ATI6mQdL97

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TWEET: Look, it’s the only Batman movie we have. If we co…

Look, it’s the only Batman movie we have. If we could go see 10 BATMAN LANE or BRIDGE OF BATMANS or PRIDE & PREJUDICE & BATMAN, we would.

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TWEET: Invader ZIM issue #8 goes on sale Wednesday! FEEL…

Invader ZIM issue #8 goes on sale Wednesday! FEEL THE TERROR OF PANTS!! @DaveCrosland @JhonenV @Dinolich @OniPress https://t.co/ZR3BCCFPHh

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TWEET: Yes, I’m excited for Batman vs Superman. It’s the…

Yes, I’m excited for Batman vs Superman. It’s the only movie with Batman in it all year. Put Batman in more movies and I’ll get choosier.

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TWEET: I’ve heard Steely Dan back to back with Toto. This…

I’ve heard Steely Dan back to back with Toto. This coffee shop is a Yacht Rock oasis.

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TWEET: “We Will Die in Apartments,” a stage play about si…

“We Will Die in Apartments,” a stage play about single people grappling with the Los Angeles real estate market.

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TWEET: Hey NSFWorkies! The new Bourbon & Girl Scout C…

Hey NSFWorkies! The new Bourbon & Girl Scout Cookies episode of the Army of Drunks is up! armyofdrunks.net/?p=318 https://t.co/Zm14n8R4i3

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TWEET: Shove off, Juan Pistolas!

Shove off, Juan Pistolas!

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TWEET: “My Starbucks is where I get my favorite roast wit…

“My Starbucks is where I get my favorite roast with the *perfect* amount of room..” was when I knew he was an android and must be destroyed.

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TWEET: He mentioned cocaine. Or as I call it, “Stripper C…

He mentioned cocaine. Or as I call it, “Stripper Chow.”

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TWEET: I’ll have the toad in a hole, but can I have the h…

I’ll have the toad in a hole, but can I have the hole on the side, please?

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TWEET: Does the five-second rule apply to virginity?

Does the five-second rule apply to virginity?

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